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「何を目的とし何を伝えたいのか」
I Want A Simple Love [SagaxTora] [Oneshot] 
10th-Sep-2009 07:44 pm
Hiroto || Sexy Tangerine UNH



I want a simple love.

To wake up beside you each and every morning, the brilliant rays of the sun catching the pale skin of your back as you gruffly roll over and hug me close like an over-stuffed, life-sized teddy bear because you want another five minutes while I want an eternity. You’d be there to make me coffee or I’d willingly but unwillingly slip from your hold and stumble into the kitchen of our shared apartment and make the black liquid myself, waiting a total of five minutes and twenty-three seconds for your sleepy yawn and shuffle to greet me with a kiss.

We would eat plain breakfasts made with care and thought rather than haste and an expert’s touch of frivolity because that would surely be all too much for the two of us. We don’t need to spice things up because we like it when things aren’t complicated. Maybe we would even read the morning newspaper in a calm silence while your two cats would lazily wrap themselves around our bare ankles and maybe even sit frustratingly atop the printed pages to witch you would smile softly and at that very moment, I would have to reach within my chest and clamp down on my speeding heart, for it would surely explode out of my chest.

Your hands are so soft despite the numerous callouses they hold. Once I wondered aloud if my hands were bigger than yours to which you looked up curiously from your seat on my couch, late night movies and snacks our only other company. Then I raised my hand and you followed suit until they touched and it was then that I knew that they were mirror images. Thick rough skin at the tips of our slender fingers, but as they progressed downwards, your skin seemed to melt into silk and beauty, despite everything that I did and didn’t want to admit. They’re the same size. One no bigger than the other but carrying the same experiences, the same warmth, Y-chromosome, spiraling prints and something so genuine, so human.

Maybe it was when you told me that you could always tell I was thinking about something. I began to think more and more but I could never catch myself around you because I was plunging into something headfirst, no idea where I was going, what I was going to do there or how it would even happen. Thoughts that strayed away from my reach like fireflies on a hot summer night and you don’t have the will to run around catching them because they’re too beautiful, too serene, too good to be real. And so I let them float away but never out of sight. On more than one occasion I almost reached out to clasp your warm hand in mine and never let go but I realized that it was brash and too much too much too much too soon and suddenly everything was constricting.

Many people would say that it’s stupid for me to want to be protected but you make me feel so vulnerable and exposed, like I truly need someone there to hug me when I smile at something or even nothing or when I feel embarrassed so that I won’t feel as bad because my face will be shoved in your chest and only you and I know how red I am. I want you to come home from work one day and tell me that you want to do something spontaneous. Drive a hundred miles to a field of sunflowers and then run through them all, to the other side, over the enormous sand dunes and down to the beach and there, you’ll chase me through the water and kiss me like we’ll die tomorrow and we have nothing to lose.

Because I feel like if I’m with you, I can do anything at all. I could bungee jump off a cliff if I knew that you would be on a ledge waiting to catch me if I fell or the cord suddenly snapped. Like I could climb a mountain and soar off the top like a bird, flying through space and time, because you would be floating next to me, I wouldn’t be afraid. I would never be afraid. No matter if we watched a million scary movies and I felt like a reeking, bloody, flesh-eating, zombie or a masked murderer would break into our apartment, I would have to look no further than your secure embrace as I fell into a dreamworld akin to the one I’m spinning right now.

Does any of this make sense? Do I know what I’m even saying? These dark (but light and airy) secrets of mine tangle in wisps of smoke like our continuous sessions with packs of Marlboros and nicotine and I don’t even care if we get throat and lung cancer one day and can never talk and breathe again because you’re my oxygen, my voice. You’re everything I live for and I know that if you tried one reckless thing and ended up dead, I promise you that not out of suicidal tendencies nor brash instances, I would be dead and buried right beside you because my heart would give up and altogether stop beating. Don’t leave me.

Yet. I am still living in my own apartment, all my own and I haven’t shared it with anyone on the face of this earth. I wake up alone every morning and leave for work as soon as possible because I spend all my time dreaming about what could be and what isn’t and since it’s not positive form, it just won’t work for me. But I’m never lonely with you. You make me feel like I’m the most popular person on this planet while I feel like your calm, sometimes dorky demeanor is so much more interesting than you make me out to be and if only we could make out in another sense, yes, that would be nice.

I’ll wait until the time is right, until the leaves are golden orange and yellow and the water in the streams and rivers smells the cleanest. I’ll wait until my internal clock freezes and lets me choose whether or not I can rip this thing, this feeling, this notion, this emotion, this invisible force out of my heart until it kills me first. I’ll wait until I’m ready. I want this. I want you. I want the eggs on your plate to always be sunny side up. I want our hands to interlock like pieces of this puzzle box life. I want to see through every defense line you have armed and ready. I want you. I want this.

I want a simple love.


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I really really like this. I can't even explain how this feels right now, to feel like these words are flowing back again. And this one is a pure fanfic. Not really based on anything life-changing for me. I dunno.
Again this is fromrheakurokawa 's prompt pictures. God, I can't thank you enough. I'll thank you more and more each time I use another and another. I hope you enjoy these! :]

Comments 
11th-Sep-2009 03:21 am (UTC)
*Smiles* I was smiling through out the whole thing.
The longing and the fear to hope but being unable to deny himself even that much... I'm not great with words, but this was really really great. Amazing. Brilliant. Heh. (>.<)
So happy we have another ToraxSaga writer. There aren't enough out there, if you ask me...
11th-Sep-2009 03:29 am (UTC)
I'm so glad I put a smile on your face! :D
No, I completely understand what you're trying to say. Thank you so much for reading. I only hope this one will get more comments than views because that's altogether frustrating! Haha. My other one was too deep I think but oh well!.

ToraxSaga is growing on me. These picture prompts I tell you! It's their fault. 8D~
11th-Sep-2009 03:31 am (UTC)
They are lovely, how could they not grow on you?
Yeah, I can see where the lack of comments could be frustrating, but don't let it get you down.
11th-Sep-2009 03:32 am (UTC)
It's taking a lot of fic reading of them. I've always thought they could possibly work for eachother but now more or less, I think they fit together quite nicely. :D

I'll try my best! ~
11th-Sep-2009 03:33 am (UTC)
*Smiles* You do that.
11th-Sep-2009 03:56 am (UTC)

ne~ this was beautiful
thankyou for sharing♥
and your writing style made it all seem so real and personal.
kudos and *cookies!!~*
11th-Sep-2009 03:59 am (UTC)
Thank you! 8D

-NOMScookies-
11th-Sep-2009 05:07 am (UTC)
OMG.... this is sooo sweet and so simple that it made me almost burst in tears.. gosh...
11th-Sep-2009 05:35 am (UTC)
Omg! Don't cryy! ;O;
It'll be okay. I promise. <3

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. :D
11th-Sep-2009 12:27 pm (UTC)
Wow.

That was beautiful and wonderful written. I loved the descriptions, the pictures of the everyday life and everyday fluff.

Good emotions, both the love and the angst and the end. It's... just very well written. Will save it to my memories :).
11th-Sep-2009 01:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Playing around with descriptions is my favorite thing to do and I'm glad it made this piece more enjoyable. :]
11th-Sep-2009 02:08 pm (UTC)
Hrr~
This made all warm and fuzzy inside, mostly because I can relate to Saga's wishes and feelings. Hurr~
I really like the way you write, this seemed so poetic, but still clear and easy to understand, so bravo on you! And as for the pairing... IT ROCKS! ToraSaga just happens to be my OTP when it comes to A9 fics. Oaa, I'm at loss of words, sorry sorry.. This comment sucks on so many levels...

ANYGAYS ! What I was supposed to say was that I read it and quite much LOVED it. ♥
11th-Sep-2009 11:18 pm (UTC)
Aw! you're comment doesn't suck! :D
Thank you so much for reading. I like reading my OTP too which isn't really ToraxSaga but that doesn't matter because it's fresh and new to write about another pairing sometimes. ;D

I'm so happy that you love it~ ♥
11th-Sep-2009 02:40 pm (UTC)
Beautiful!!! (*__*) The smoking part totally made me lol; too cute!

There used to be alot of ToraxSaga writers a long time ago and then they all disappeared which is sad cause this is my OTP. I love reading them. Made my morning :)
11th-Sep-2009 11:19 pm (UTC)
The smoking part was so fun. Ah man. xD;
Yeah! Even though I was never a fan of ToraxSaga, sometimes I get an itching to read it and I can never find it anymore! Unless I go back to my old favorites and their fanfics. @___@;

I'm glad I could make your morning. :D
11th-Sep-2009 07:23 pm (UTC)
i love the way you write.

thanks for another beautiful Tora x Saga fic.

i agree. where have all these writers gone to? T^T

11th-Sep-2009 11:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you. ~ ♥

I will continue to do so if my inspiration will let me do so! :D
13th-Sep-2009 02:15 pm (UTC)
Late comment is late! :-<

Anyway, this was very lovely. Saga/Tora is my 2nd favorite pairing, yet there are so few writers these days. Which makes this beautiful piece of writing all the more awesome. I love the soft images you used; they have a sepia feel, warm and comforting. And the things that make up the "simple love" are pretty spot-on.

I really like it, thank you for wrting this. :)
13th-Sep-2009 07:24 pm (UTC)
Any comment at any time at all is welcomed and cherished! 8D

I like that description. Sepia. Now that I think about it, it does fit a lot with the mood and imagery. Ahh, I tried me best at simple love and I guess it worked out nicely. :]

Thank you for taking the time to read this. :3
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